Self-care, gentle, and sustainable living.

Life is definitely not easy… and even the best of us struggle sometimes. Here are three simple steps to help you overcome challenges when life just seems too difficult.

 “The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.”

Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

In the last couple years, we’ve certainly had to overcome challenges many would never have expected. It seems life is always throwing curveballs when we least expect it. Sometimes you can roll with the punches, but other times, things feels like a little too much… and that’s okay.

It’s normal to not have that curated “perfect life” you see in the media. It’s normal for not everything to go smoothly, or for your path to differ from that of your peers. And it’s normal to feel overwhelmed sometimes.

I am not a therapist, but I have gone through my share of ups and downs. My aim is that these tips will inspire you and help you to find a footing and gain hope during challenging times.

The first step to overcoming challenges: Give yourself grace

The first thing to do is give yourself grace. You are going through possibly the biggest challenge of your life so far. Of course your feelings may be overwhelming.

Take some time to check in with yourself.

Give yourself some moments to breathe, whether it’s a few minutes to yourself in the bathroom away from your toddler, a couple moments in your car in the driveway before work, some time curled up in your favourite cozy chair, or a walk through a serene spot in nature… whatever you can manage that feels good to you.

How are you feeling? 

Take note of what emotions you’re experiencing, and know that they are completely valid. Write them down if that feels right to you, or simply acknowledge them. It’s okay to feel all the emotions you are experiencing. Remember as well that eventually these feelings will pass.

Recognize your strength.

We all have a tendency to focus on the negative and on the things that are not quite good enough. Remind yourself of what you have already overcome in your life. You deserve to have confidence and pride in yourself, because you’ve already done so much! You’ve got this too.

You can fill out this worksheet if it helps you gather your thoughts.

The second step to overcoming challenges: Consider your perspective

What we’re feeling can shift how we see the world in a given moment. Once you’ve had some time to connect with your emotions and appreciate your strength, consider your current outlook on the world.

What story are you telling yourself?

As humans, we love stories, and we tell ourselves stories to make sense of our lives even without realizing it. What type of narrative are you applying to your life? Are you a hero, or a victim? Is the world against you, or are there possibilities for success? Are you weak, or are you strong and resilient?

Once you’ve identified this story, take some time to reflect on it. Is it helping you, or holding you back? Is this the story you want for your life? There are many different ways to view the same thing. You are the author of your life and you always have control over what story you are living.

Focus on the bigger picture.

When we’re in the middle of something, it’s easy to get caught up in details. Sometimes, we do this to such an extent that these details end up feeling much more significant than they truly are.

Time can help point some of these out. Is there something that felt as big as the world when you were younger, but doesn’t seem as serious now that you’re older? This can happen at any stage in life. If you find yourself dwelling on the little things, try taking a step back and consider the bigger picture.

It’s also helpful to make a practice of enjoying the small things, and celebrating the good in life. These seemingly little moments can be quite powerful.

Know that you are not alone.

It’s easy to feel like you are alone in the world with your problems. Like no one understands what you are going through. Like nobody sees your struggle. While everyone’s experience is unique, know that there are others going through similar challenges, and feeling similarly alone and unrecognized.

If you feel comfortable, reach out for help. Although you might assume this is a sign of weakness, it is actually one of the bravest things you can do. Accepting help from others can feel vulnerable and difficult, but you are absolutely not required to do this alone. It’s okay to lean on others who care for you. Giving and accepting help will actually strengthen the relationships in your life.

The third step to overcoming challenges: Focus on solutions

Now that you have given yourself space to feel, and have a better sense of how you are seeing – and how you want to see – the world, you’re in a better place to take steps forward.

Brainstorm solutions.

Think of what you can do starting where you are right now. It can be just one tiny step that brings you that little bit closer to your goal. Getting anywhere takes time. Focus on those small, manageable steps, and before you know it, you will be so far ahead.

Recalculate as you go.

There is no perfect plan. You will always have to adjust and adapt. Be flexible, and give yourself grace. There are so many possible paths to where you want to go, and you might even find a new destination you never new existed along the way.

Treat yourself gently.

Listen to the cues your body gives you. As you get to know yourself better, you will gain a deeper sense of what you need to stay in a healthy place. Check in with yourself regularly, and if you feel yourself faltering, reach for help. You can cycle through the steps in this post as many times as you need to as well.

Final thoughts on how to overcome challenges

Everyone is going through some kind of struggle, even people who seem to have it all. Try to be kind and understanding towards others as well as towards yourself. Help others, and accept help from others. We have so many resources, knowledge, and experience on this earth that there is no reason we can’t all be in a good place.

xoxo Mariam

inspiration kindness self care self help tips